Living with ADHD: One Year on Medication – A Personal Reflection

Written by our very own wonderful AHA, Shae Verity

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I’ve decided to document the changes I’ve experienced over the past year as a now-medicated, high-functioning adult with ADHD. Before medication, my life was constantly in motion. My calendar was always full, I was always busy—active to the point of exhaustion. I never really stopped, until I crashed. At the time, I didn’t recognize it as burnout, but that’s exactly what it was. These crashes would happen frequently or occasionally, depending on how long I could keep going.

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Despite the chaos in my head, my house was always clean, chores were always done, and everything appeared organized on the outside. But this wasn’t always the case. As a child, I was quite messy. I’d sleep with my clothes on the bed because putting them away felt impossible. I’d start one task, then jump to another, and another, creating a snowball effect of unfinished jobs.

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In school, I was seen as the perfect student—quiet and well-behaved. In reality, I was never really paying attention. I didn’t have good grades unless I worked incredibly hard for them. Most of my schoolwork was done at home because I couldn’t grasp what was being taught in class. I’d try to decipher it on my own, often ending in emotional meltdowns that my mum had to help me through.

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As I got older, I turned to alcohol to quiet my mind and relax my body. Drinking became a weekly routine—a tool to manage the constant noise in my head. I was always moody, always stressed, and I even suffered from hair loss due to that stress. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 16 and was medicated for those conditions for years, but looking back, I believe I was misdiagnosed.

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I was a very busy child, involved in multiple dance schools and a gymnastics club. I loved getting things right—whether it was a flip or a dance move. But when I couldn’t get it, it often ended in meltdowns and pure exhaustion from pushing myself too hard. I was also a very angry child. My emotions were always intense. I’ve often been described as someone who "what goes up must come down." I could be on a high—super happy and energized—and then suddenly crash.

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Even as an adult, I learned to manage things better, but the emotional rollercoaster never really went away. The stress was constant, the overwhelm was always there. Alcohol became my way to escape it.

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The best way I can describe what it felt like is the “too many internet tabs open” analogy. My brain was like a computer with endless tabs—each one shouting for attention. Every task, big or small, important or trivial, was swirling in my head, all at once.

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That changed when I started ADHD medication.

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I’ve now been on the same non-stimulant medication—Amoxetine—for a year. It’s not a stimulant like Ritalin, which is more commonly prescribed to children. From what I understand (though I’m not a doctor), children are usually given long-lasting stimulant options, whereas I take a non-stimulant that suits my needs.

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Now, those mental “tabs” still exist, but I can actually focus on one or two at a time. I can prioritize. I can say, “This is what I need to do today, and this one can wait.” That ability alone has significantly reduced my stress levels.

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I haven’t lost who I am. I’m still the happy, bubbly, enthusiastic person I was before—but now, the constant anger, stress, and anxiety are gone. I can regulate my emotions. Where I used to break down frequently, now those moments are rare. If I’m angry or sad, it’s because I have a valid reason—not because my brain has gone into meltdown mode.

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I don’t feel the need to drink like I used to. My brain is quieter, my thoughts are organized, and I feel more at peace. My sleep has improved too—I fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. That said, I’ve also paired medication with other strategies, like sleep training with calming music.

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The only side effect I noticed was a loss of appetite for the first two weeks, but that passed. In fact, my eating habits have improved. I no longer crave as much sugar or overeat. Another big change: I now remember to drink water! Before, even simple tasks like that felt overwhelming.

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Speaking of simple tasks—things like taking a shower or getting dressed were huge undertakings for me. There are so many steps involved that neurotypical people might not notice. It wasn’t just “get dressed”—it was a whole process that required planning and effort. That’s changed too. These tasks are still tasks, but they’re manageable now.

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In summary, ADHD medication has turned my world from a constant state of fight-or-flight into something manageable. I no longer feel like I’m in survival mode every day. I can regulate my emotions, stay calm, and actually achieve what I want to.

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For anyone considering ADHD medication, know that it’s not about changing who you are—it’s about giving your brain a chance to rest and work with you, rather than against you.

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Shae verity

Proudly neuro-spicey (divergent)